I know how you're feeling right now and every comment that insinuates D is a gut punch. Unfortunately my suspicion is that she will file after the holidays. I know that's not what you want to hear but trust me from someone who has been through it you want it to happen as soon as possible. When you are able to distance yourself you can then start to assess your marriage more objectively. I like you feel that likely years down the road she will knock again at your door.
Your sitch is very like mine and I suspect your w will feel guilty and you can use that to your advantage and get a very good settlement.
I feel you W I really do but you will survive this and thrive. You are stronger then you realize.
