The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome.
Quote of the day. Thought without action is like a car without a transmission. The engine sounds good when you rev it. But the vehicle doesn't go anywhere.
Wow Curtis! I thought I was long winded! Alright. Im going to high five you on changing for the better. Working on communication, being patient, having a huge amount of compassion, being a better version of yourself, etc. You have some serious milestones you have achieved and I congratulate you. (I've barely started on my own inner self work this last year, but have come to a lot of realizations so in a way its healthy. But requires a lot more action on my part.)
We want them to change course, we want them to choose us and the life we idealized of them and with them, we want them to make the right choices. Our right isn't their right, our perception isn't their, And we are not them!!! The sooner you step out of your own views, and try and wrap your head around there's a little while giving them silence and space, the more compassion and understanding you will have for them, the more you see their errors but more importantly the more you see your own and make those changes on them that's just my realization. I get it. A part of me gets it why you are still holding onto hope.
Back to my 2x4. Ill put it plainly. Your words are incongruent with your actions. Here is what most of us are hearing from you in the last year... "I'm going to end the Marriage if you don't stop cheating.... Wait wait.... I can be better... We can be better if you stop cheating and come to your senses...We can be a family...I've changed...Did you change your mind yet? How about now? I'm filing for divorce if you don't come back to me. I think we could be great together... Let's try counciling... Lets go away to Retroville. If you don't stop cheating, I'm going to file..." You get the picture.... You keep beating (no pun but absolutely pun intended.) The same dead horse over and over and over for a solid year. You need to be b*th slapped like bugs bunny does with his white glove to his nemesis. Curtis. I feel you I do. We all do. We all hurt. We all want things to be better, our R's to be better, out sich's to be better. But the fact is no one person should be the center of our lives without their commitment and their actions displaying such. P-E-R-I-O-D. It's not worth your self respect, your worth, and your sanity. (Even though we temporarily lie to ourselves every day that eventually they are coming back.)
Im not saying file, Im not saying give anymore ultimatums. Here is a task for you that Im trying to implement in my own life all around it. My problem is my mouth, and how wordy I am to get my point across.
Make it your goal to use as little words as possible. Less is more. Convey all of your intentions through actions. Sometimes silence is action. Your worth is in your silence and your actions believe it or not. How much impact do you think you will have consistently in your silence, give them the gift of silence and give them the gift of missing you. You are worth every bit of it my friend, and they are worth every bit of that treatment until they earn your respect back with actions. Talk is cheap.
