Well I got the ole you don't really love me or you would go to counseling speech yesterday. She has also moved back in the MB to sleep and refuses to leave the room. I can't persuade her to get out. Anything I say she spins or she mentions my affair from 17 years ago, me telling the OM wife, or me never being around as a husband. 1st night I just decided to go sleep in another bed. Last night I didn't budge and stayed in my own bed. I'm thinking it might be time to change the lock on the door and move her belongings to another room.
Not really surprising, remember what I posted to you about a week ago?
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Originally Posted by bballer1
Ok guys, I sent her back out of the MB last night. I was calm and nice in asking her to move out. I told her I could not have a relationship with her until she was no longer involved with the OM and she was no longer communicating with him. I also stated I do not agree with living in an open relationship and that is what we have had for the past year.
Try not to turn everything into an R talk. You should have just said "get out" and when she said "why" say "you know why". Because she does.
Also get ready because she will turn defiant and move back into the bed before long. So be prepared to address that.
So this is her being defiant again. She's the classic GGW WW. Nothing is going to work with her except tough love. I agree that the best option would be putting a lock on the door and moving her stuff out of the MBR. She will blow her top but you simply cannot reward defiant behavior or it will spiral out of control.
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After no communication for 4 days she is feeling like I am giving up or letting her go.
GOOD. She needs to think she might be losing you, and to start to feel what that is like.
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She has been drinking some, crying some, and texting or calling a little more than usual. I have not been answering her calls and rarely text her back.
Good. Stick to it.
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She got some bad news regarding her job and that really hasn't helped my situation. If anything it throws her closer to her affair partner and now almost guarantees they may have to communicate.
She will look for any excuse she can to run back into his arms and not yours. You can't control that.
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She is going to see a lawyer this afternoon for legal advice. I told her she should go if that is what she wanted to do. She mentioned that she just needed to file and I told her that if she feels that way then I will be alright with it.
This is good as well. You're handling this all really well.
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The more time I spend on myself, the more I realize that I deserve better for myself.
Well you do. And maybe that's still with her, many waywards do eventually hit bottom, repent of their actions and turn their life around. I think she has months or a year or more before that will happen though, she's just as defiant now as ever, if not more so.
