^^^ This is a great introspective lesson that everyone here should take heed and come to terms with. About being whole first.
I knew I had a problem but I took the easy way out by blaming everyone else. I thought if I just picked a better man life would be grand and I'd be happy. I went from a guy who hit me to WAH. Thought my life would be rainbows and sunshine with a "nice guy". WAH was the perfect boyfriend, everyone liked him, I was head over heels in love and he seemed like a great catch so imagine my surprise when it all went south in less than a year and we weren't even married yet.
In hindsight the guy who hit me was also an avoidant. His life was all about work and partying with his friends. I came in last. See the pattern? We'd get in these fights and he'd shove me into the wall to get me to back off then he'd leave. This went on for 1-2 years. I was so messed up I probably would have stayed but the fights escalated and for the record this guy didn't like me much either. Avoidants want to do what they want to regardless of what their partner wants. They pretend to care but it never sticks before they go right back to the status quo.
