The beanie is a major issue w/him. If you can locate one that is very similar to the one that he thinks you have, I would purchase it. It is a small item and most likely not too expensive...but that beanie means something to him. They all have something that they want to hold on to and to us it's crazy, but to them....it's very important. I think I would give it to him versus sending it to him and I would explain that you don't have the original one, but you were able to find one very similar...otherwise, he will think that you've been holding the original beanie hostage. You have to make it very clear that you do not have the original one, but were willing to locate another one for him because you realized the original beanie was very important to him. He may come to realize that you are telling the truth about the original one and that you went the extra mile to give him another one. Time will tell on how he reacts to this gesture, but it is a gesture of good will.
It's sad when you can see clearly and can see that they are not the same people we loved. His eyes reflect his feelings about himself and the world. He's a very lost man/child and it's going to take him a very long time, if ever, to cross over and become a mature man.
For now, all you can do is pray for him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
