My anger was short-lived. It subsided within a matter of days and I'm chugging along quite cheerfully again.
Sometimes we think we are bad people when we feel angry. Anger is a fair and correct response to being mistreated. It is what we do with the anger that matters. I try my best to not REACT inappropriately while angry. I do ACT though. I reach out to friends, post here or elsewhere online, or channel the emotion into positive activity.
As you said, DnJ, I need to think it over and approach it without emotion. Typing it all out here and receiving your thoughtful input is part of that process. I have been thinking about this in various states of being for a little while now. I'm not too sure that my logical intention is different from my emotional intention. But I will think on it some more
In times of emotional overwhelm, sometimes all you can do is just sit with your feelings, examine them, even console them like a friend in need. No need to reject any feeling, even anger. Or be afraid of those feelings and emotions.
Something my H always struggled with was the inability to entertain negative emotions. It was a point of pride with him that he just wouldn't allow it. There was always the implication (and sometimes the outright statement) that he was 'stronger' or 'better' than me in this regard.
I'm at peace with my decision to stand down. If H was to try and come back now, my answer would be "no". In practical terms, this doesn't mean anything changes for me. I'm still on the same path as I was during my decision to stand. Maybe that is your point, DnJ?
