Uni. I can say this as an emotionally reactive person. Back in March in my sitch I started implementing the email only communication protocol. It's a good protocol for several reasons. It gives you time and space to emotionally collect and protect yourself. It becomes a paper trail for all requests receipts and documentation for the divorce. it's also beneficial because you can carefully take the time to word out what you need to say and articulate as well as be assertive with. In my situation there was memory problems on both my side and XW side on what was discussed and how discussions would get misinterpreted or rewritten in her mind, or things would come up that she thought she told me she never did because her own memory was dealing with so much. That is what frustrated the hell out of me was no accountability and this went on all throughout our marriage. She would blame it on my memory I would blame it on hers and round and round we went with important occasions and no resolve. So email made it very clear cut. There would be times where she wanted to keep having discussions with me of importance. I would have to tell her email email email email email.... stick with the protocol ...email me so I can keep record of everything and I can hold her accountable to her words and memory as well as hold myself accountable. if I need to backtrack or re-read something of importance now I have an archive of it.
I put that boundary in place because things were getting heated and misconstrued over text message. Plus I got tired of being bothered with only logistical things that weren't top priority at the moment. Being called, getting emotionally attached to her voice, or having an important discussion while I'm on my way out the door when I was in the marital home. Plus I also wanted to detach more. Since then XW and I loosen that restraint a little and we are back to texting. But only out of necessity, either for the sake of S2, or if either one of us have to get something from one another otherwise she barely bothers me anymore with the exception keeping on offering me shared stuff from the home that I don't want in my place or she keeps inviting me to family occasions, when I made it clear months ago I'm not interested in doing things together if we're not together. A few occasions we did together like Santa pictures and Halloween with the kid otherwise I politely decline, like invite to dinner and time with her and her family. I know it has nothing to do with me and it's only for the sake of S2 when I shouldn't read into it.
Any way back to you. I would stick with the email protocol as it holds both of you accountable for what you say, suggest, offer, agree upon etc. Like you said I would be assertive with your needs as far as Financial Arrangements custody time with the children, mediation, etc. Set the boundary that you're only willing to communicate through email only for the sake of protecting yourself and keeping people accountable. If she doesn't answer them, or respond to them in a timely manner then that's on her, actions have consequences or lack of. Eventually with the paper trail and divorce complaint it's going to go to snail mail. if she can't respond to email or snail mail. How can she have a verbal conversation with you. It works both ways you know
