Wow, thank you for sharing. She sounds like she's still a mess. It is just so frustrating to see someone you love totally and completely screw up their own life and then take others along for the ride. My kids are a little older than yours but in the same range... must be so hard to hear them doing things like inviting your W to sleep over at the house.
One question for you-- what is the audiobook you mentioned you gave to her?
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing