Persistant Endurance (Part 7)

[curtis7]

On Black Friday, I invited W and the kids over to grill out. They came and W did some freelance work on the computer. I gave D5 a ride on the horse, then I rode myself. W came out and gave me some tips on riding. I grilled hamburgers for all of us. W showed me some Xmas gifts for the kids on her phone. I got the kids ready for volleyball, W changed her mind and wanted to go take a bath instead. She said she might come later, but she never showed up.

The next day S8 asked if we were all going to be together for Xmas. I replied I don’t think so. He laid on the patio furniture and cried. I comforted him and said if there was anything I could do to make things better I would. I reassured him that God has a plan for us and we need to keep faith that things will work out in the end. W came over in the evening to feed the horses. I showed her a Xmas tree I wanted to buy and asked to borrow her SUV to go pick it up. She agreed and stayed at our house to watch the kids. I returned after 10pm, the kids were already asleep. W had done some cleaning in the kitchen. She helped me setup the tree. Then, we sat in the living room and enjoyed a bottle of wine. We exchanged small talk, no R discussion. One interesting comment she made when talking about her GF that became a widow over the summer. The GF was in an A and her deceased H knew about it. The AP is pursuing the GF again, but she is hesitant as she knows her H would have been okay with her being with anyone else after he died. My W told her she should be with whoever makes her happy because her H isn’t coming back. W said that probably isn’t what I want to hear. I did not respond. I enjoyed spending time with my W that evening until she finally left at 1am.

A couple days later, W brought the kids over to watch a movie on Disney Plus. S8 asked W if they were going to stay at my house for Xmas. W replied that is up to dad. S8 then asked her if she was going to stay with us and said that she could sleep in the guest bedroom. She said we’ll see. I kept quiet, was thinking I don’t want her staying at our house unless she’s in the master bedroom with me.

Kids came back the next day and S8 told me that on Thanksgiving morning he asked W why she doesn’t come back. She said that she is trying, she knows it’s the right thing to do for me, S8 and D5, but if she comes back she knows she will be miserable. So that is why she is thinking about just staying at the other house. Hard to hear this once again but not surprising with the WW mindset. How does she know she’ll be miserable? I didn’t let it bother me. Believe nothing they say. If she wasn’t in active affairs, maybe she would feel differently about our future. Impeccable timing on my part to confront her on a decision to end her affairs shortly after she had this discussion with the kids.

The next day my W made an appointment for IC (scheduled for today). Maybe she will get the helps she needs. Here’s what may shock many of you based on my pursuit in these most recent updates. That same day I contacted my L to proceed with making arrangements to protect me and my kids. I’m moving forward on parallel paths. If she wants to R, that can be discussed. If WW is her choice, then so be it.

Last weekend, W came to volleyball with us again on Friday and watched two more Disney Plus movies with D5 and I on Saturday. On Sunday, I met her and the kids at a birthday party for a mutual friend.

I really don’t know where she stands with her APs. My current stance is assume the A’s are continuing until she proves to me otherwise.

That’s my sitch through the end of November and to date. Whew, that was a lot to share. GAL is going well, I keep busy. Mentally I’m in a much better place. Detachment is better. Her words and actions don’t have nearly the effect they had on me even a couple months ago.