Small update - Xmas party was last night. I was exhausted so only went for 45 mins. H knew I was going, as I'd sent him an email earlier in the day about some dog stuff and ended it with 'See you at the party tonight?'
H came up to me first at the party, was genuinely excited to see me, nice/sweet. We talked for a while about just social stuff. When we separated and talked to others, I did catch him sitting alone looking at me in a cute way. When I went to leave, I said bye to him, and he said have a good night/be safe etc and went to give me a one armed hug. I reached up and gave him a 2 armed hug (he is a foot taller than I am) and laughed and said "let me love you!" which made him laugh, and he tried to hide that he was laughing. That said, one of the first things he said last night was that he is going back to his place (4 hrs away) either this afternoon or tomorrow. He's been in town for a week, and stays with his mom, so I get it, but was kinda sad - we have MC today and I was hoping we could hang out afterwards, but who knows. We will see.
I do have some intel I shouldn't - he had drinks w/ a mutual friend on Tuesday. He isn't doing very well, having a depressive episode. Was in bed depressed all day the Sunday of my birthday, which is why he hadn't realized it was my birthday until way later that day. Friend said H expressed being way more open to working on stuff now - but we will see what he says in MC today. Friend said everything I have prepped for today's MC sounds like everything he needs to hear (I'd gone over what I was gonna say earlier in the week). Most of our friends don't know full details of what's going on, but this friend does, and is a good emotional person for H to talk to. I am cautiously optimistic for today, and hoping he is coming with an open mind, and I can do the same.
I know I am not supposed to care wtf H does at a party, but I am not there yet.
