Down, but not out ..... yet.

[DonH]

unless I just went along with THEIR flow, they really ended up not interested.

Please reread Why men Love B!tches.

I've gotten side tracked by some non-R and non-cruise life issues so I have not yet finished the rest of the book but will and will write more then, but yeah, the more things come out Ginger the more I so agree with KML you need to re-read this book. Even what you talked about on another thread and I'm glad you are so open, but it's kinda more of the same that you've always done (talking about being naked with a guy on the first date with the guy right before M). I know you've told part of that story before but not sure about the first date - and again it's right from the book of what NOT to do.

You and perhaps others have said that you see books like WMLB or from the Coach as "playing games." The thing is, many say the same about DBing - that it's game playing. Of course most of us here don't see it that way. Why would DBing not be game playing but sort of the same principles said another way is? The thing is, just like DBing, if it's not authentic, the other person may see right through it. We tell people here that all the time that if you are not really detached and doing GAL authentically, the spouse may see the person is doing it just to try to win them back. The thing is, at some point, DBing becomes natural and is not at all game playing and I totally see WMLB exactly the same.

With DBing, I was in some ways doing it with R's many, many years before I even knew what it was. I thought of all sorts of examples of how I DB'd someone, just because it's how I felt, it was my authentic response, but the reaction was very much as predicted. I see it totally the same with WMLB. If it's faked and not authentic it could well be seen as or feel like game playing but it really should be authentic and it should be how every self-assured, successful woman acts. She should expect more from the guy, she should not give away sex early on, she should not need to hear from the guy all the time, or see him 5 times a week early on, or have to always go with their flow.

What I'm saying is to give this book another read and another chance. It's not game playing - not at all. It's much more about how quality women act when they go from doormat to dreamgirl. Or any of these examples:

"He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him.”

"Decide how you want to be treated. Choose what you will or will not tolerate. Leave if you don’t get what you want.”

“Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way.”

“Men don't respond to words. What they respond to is "no contact".”

“When you live life with him or without him, that is when he will accept and value you for who you are.”

“The more independent you are of him, the more interested he will be.”

“Success in love isn't about looks, it's about attitude.”

And it certainly is not about good luck or back luck (that part is mine)

I could copy and paste a bunch more but these things I just listed from the book are not about playing games - it's a blueprint for success and it's what this book, at least from all that I can tell, is about.