unless I just went along with THEIR flow, they really ended up not interested.
Please reread Why men Love B!tches.
This is actually the opposite of true - they didn't give more because you were TOO accommodating and went along with their flow. They got used to that and then if you tried to change it, they balked. But the same men - or if not them, many others - would go out of their way for a sassy woman with high expectations who they know might not be available for a date unless they lock her down early, because they've got competition in the form of other interested men. If they know you'll kick them to the curb if they don't step up to the plate because you have many willing suitors waiting in the wings, most men will put out a LOT more effort. I know that doesn't come naturally to you (me neither - I've mostly learned the truth of this accidentally, when my busy-ness or lack of interest leads to being more pursued by a guy). Date men WITHOUT the mindset of looking for true love, and instead with the mindset of "Is this guy good enough for me to waste time on? Is he putting out enough effort or should I move on to another guy?". I think you'll be surprised at the difference in the responses you get from men.
