Do you think it is possible that she was partially pushing the custody issue in order to get enough $$ in child support to keep the house/lifestyle? I would worry that it might flare up again once she sees the full picture. Not sure what the situation is like in your state though.
Hi may ~
It's possible, although I doubt it. For one, she just granted me extra custody in our informal arrangement.
I truly believe the custody issue was emotionally driven. For instance, right before I moved out, I had gone out in the woods to shoot a pellet gun with S7. My W reacted as if I was a dangerous gun-toting H who may harm her and the kids at any moment. Things were very intense there for awhile. It's taken 6 months of slow and gradual progress (and pain being separated from my kids more than I think is fair or healthy)... but we are getting closer to a "normal" parenting arrangement.
Also, the difference between 100% and 50% custody (for child support) is not enough to move the needle as far as keeping the house. My state (and most, I believe) tweak their recommendation calculators so that people benefit financially by sharing custody and working. This is done specifically so people don't fight over the kids just to get more money.
Recently, my W asked me to help her work out whether or not she could keep the house, because she trusts my financial judgment. I turned her down. I told her that I'm willing to negotiate when it comes down to it (rather than force a house sale), but I don't want to be giving her financial advice which she may later resent. She thought it was weird, but so be it. It's a far cry from being accused of being "financially controlling" back during the pre-BD days.
