When it comes to advice here it seems for me that a majority of the time at least the forum is right. The first few months of me posting here, I was nowhere near convinced the recommendations here were the right things to do. I had many reasons but the one that made me post skeptic was that there must be cultural differences. I live in Sweden, surely the mentality and behavior canīt be the same here as in USA.
But every time I went with my intuition it drew her farther away. And every time I listened to the advice here, my W would react almost exactly as predicted. How I wish now that I had listened to the vets. If I knew then what I know now, my situation could perhaps have been different. But I donīt care if itīs too late now, the advice Iīve been given while here has changed me completely as a person. Iīm so enjoying being Ben 2.0 in all my relationships now.
I also lied to myself. I remember posting a few months ago that I couldnīt find ways to GAL because I have the dog to take care of. Now that W moved out, I have tons of things planned all the time. Friends coming over, going to get massages, going on trips etc etc. The truth, I see now, was that I didnīt really want to GAL, I wanted to be near my W when she was home.
Just an example of how we think we ware detaching but the reality is that we tend to hold on to that rope for a long time.
I was watching a Roseanne rerun and she said - we can be miserable and nothing will change or we can be happy and nothing will change. I think DB is about trying to be happy while nothing will change.
My point about the advice was that there are number of external factors that the advice never takes into account. I know some may jump on me for saying that you don't have to following the "rules." But that is not what I am saying. Core asked a question and I answered.
