Hi everyone.
Last couple of weeks my wife and I have been co-parenting very well and her anger towards has been been kept in check. However her replay mode has strengthened to going out four times a week salsa dancing even though she seems to think it's at max twice a week when confronted by her daughter. Nonetheless things have been diplomatic with even some laughs. Yesterday she wanted to have an R talk, specifically what a D would look like as far as living arrangements and she also wants to let the kids know we are separated after Christmas. She seemed a tiny bit emotional while talking and when I asked her if she was sure if a D is what she wanted because she has never actually said the word (except saying she wants a trial separation) she just said well I don't see us having more than just a platonic relationship. I asked her one more time a little bit later and she said well she wants to tell the kids so... Just found it curious she couldn't say the words.

We talked about listing the house in the spring, so that looks like it may occur but she has not formerly suggested starting divorce proceedings.

The convo was civil except when I reacted to her re-writing history on how we arrived here. I quickly caught myself and tampered down any flare ups.

I suggested to her I take full responsibility for my part in this but I also told her we would have arrived here regardless of any circumstances. I said her growth would have happened regardless and that perhaps with these changes she should bugger off for a month and go to Europe to finnish her growth unimpeded. She seemed to like the idea but was worried that splitting up when she comes back would paint as the bad guy with the kids.

Going forward I want to propose to her that the living arrangements that I would like to see happen after the sale of our house is as follows; I want to rent a larger house for me and the four kids, that way she can rent a smaller one bedroom condo and help me with the kids as she pleases at my place. My rationale for this is I really do not want to have the kids go back and forth and have already expressed to her my feelings about that. She is perfectly happy doing 50/50 custody and I suspect would be happier doing less. Thoughts on proposing that to her? Not looking for legal opinions but rather how that may be received.

Of note, she walks around with music on her phone constantly even when she goes to the washroom, walks out to the car or takes out the trash. She falls asleep with it and instantly cranks it up upon opening her eyes in the morning. I figure she has to be distracted or else depression sets in.

Thank you and sorry for grammar and spelling , I hate typing on my phone but have to for security reasons.

Last edited by job; 12/11/19 11:20 PM. Reason: added space between paragraphs