Actions speak louder than words. There is no need to tell her that you are moving on...just do it, drop the rope and live your life to the fullest.
About the advice given on the forums, we having saying around here, listen and apply what may work for you and your situation. No one has the key to the golden trinket box that says everything we advise will work in your situation. Try different things, when you find something that works, they continue doing it. If something isn't working, drop. No one knows your situation better than yourself.
No one is going to be a perfect DBer. DBing is not just about trying to save your marriage, but it is a technique that is used every day IRL. It is to help you navigate your own journey as well and learn how to react/not react to what others say or do. You can DB people that you work with, family, friends, etc. We are human and we make mistakes all of the time. The beauty of the mistakes is learning from them so that you aren't beating your head up against the brick wall all of the time. The definition of crazymaking/insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and the results are the same.
This is your time to grow and learn about yourself. It is a time to try new GAL activities and to get that old list out of things that you wanted to do and never had the time to do them. Try to remember, you can't fix her, she has to do that herself. The only person you can fix is yourself (if there are changes to be made).
Keep the focus on you as a watched pot never boils. Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
