Thank you Jac, thats the thinking that got me here in the first place.
Steve85, we had troubling signs before BD, I just didnt know it was so serious. In 8/19 and part of 9/19 we were looking to buy a new house together. We pulled an offer and thats when this all got really serious. She looked up her ex in 9/19 the day after we pulled our offer.
My point is that she wasn't acting unusual, then you got ILYB and BD. So don't look at "If I change my method suddenly, it may seem like a game." Just like you don't do things to manipulate her, you don't NOT do things out of fear of how she will take it. DBing isn't a game. It is getting right yourself. A healthy spouse in a healthy marriage will have a life of their own (GAL), will be self-improving (180s), and will be self-differentiated (detachment). If not.....then they are headed for a BD.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
