I am longtime DBer (from more than 10 years ago - I can't remember my old password and changed my email) However, I must offer you a few thoughts. I was in a very similar situation to you.
1. I was once like you, I was told I wasn't good at following DB. I often broke the "rules" I didn't fully commit to the program. Why? Because I knew my wife, marriage and family better than anyone here. Guess what though I'm still married. My marriage is probably as good as ever. You asked a while back of stories of people not exactly following the rules and still being successful. That's me. It can be done.
2. You need to be careful with the advice here. I'm not saying that anyone here is malicious or wrong or doesn't have the best intentions. But I need you to understand that most of the people offering advice here are not trained professionals - either a combination of education/experience nor are they coaches trained by MWD. They just have anecdotal evidence.
3. I know for a fact at least a couple of the people posting here were the OM. That's why the seem to know a lot about the OMs
