There is no unwritten rule that says you can’t push D forward if it benefits you. AS did it. Others have too. I actually applaud people who do iron their own terms.
Yes I agree with LH. None of us comes here wanting D, that's for sure. But the thing is, we are hanging onto who our wives -used- to be, not who they are now. The woman I fell in love with and married was someone I would never have divorced in a million years. But something happened to that woman, she changed into someone else. What I was clinging to was the hope that it was temporary and she would "get well" and we could go back to normal. At some point you'll realize she's probably not ever going to be that person again though. So then the question is this- do you want to be married to the person she is NOW? The answer for me was a definite "no".
So now it's been 9 years since my BD. My old W never has come back. She is more like her old self, but not her old self. I enjoy spending time with her and the kids, but she's not who I loved for so long, and she's not someone I would want to be married to. I love her like you love a relative- an aunt or cousin maybe.
So give that some thought. Are you clinging to a marriage to someone who doesn't exist anymore? And may never exist again? Do you even want to be married to who she is now?
