Heading back to "MC" (co-parenting coaching) this Friday.
I know it's the same old tune, but I am thinking about making this the last session I attend for awhile. Go ahead and 2x4 me because I say it all the time =D
On the one hand, over the last 6 months, I have gone from "W is going to withhold the kids if you don't write a legally questionable document implying you are unsafe" to "near-50/50 schedule". I am happy that I have proven to be a stable father and person, and these sessions have helped calm my W's nerves at a point where I think she was liable to do some crazy things like move the kids away (which she did investigate with a L).
On the other hand, these sessions have never involved working on the MR. They usually involve one of my W's concerns, then we discuss, etc. They are not particularly useful for me. Sometimes I get gut-punched. Sometimes not. I rarely share my feelings, as I can tell she is not receptive. I validate and listen actively.
I'm just super-frustrated in general with my sitch. I feel like I have to press forward the D to protect myself financially and with the kids. But I feel that goes against DB principles. I am out of options. I know D is an arbitrary threshold in this process, and people R post-D. I just don't want to be the one pushing D forward, but my sitch almost requires it. I am subsidizing my W's lifestyle right now and she hasn't gone back to work.
It is interesting that she gave me the extra custody time I wanted. I would say with that updated plan, I would be open to continuing in limbo as-is (as far as custody goes). But financially... money is money but I am spending 2-3K more per month than I would in a worst-case D settlement. It is not sustainable.
Anyways, curious if anyone has thoughts on alternatives. A financial separation would likely trigger selling the house anyways, so I don't see it much differently than a D.
I wish I wasn't in a situation where I felt like I needed to be the one driving the D. But here we are.
