You had a men addiction and were sexting while married?
Men addiction yes meaning codependent, can't be alone, needed validation, no female friends, etc. When I was younger I'd go from one relationship to another within weeks. I got too attached to men I worked with. I never had an affair (EA or PA) but I walked right up to that line. This was before cell phones (no sexting) or the internet. I became a homemaker (15 years ago) and my access to men ended. I focused on my kids and tried to make female friends.
6 years ago I did go online and made male friends. WAH got angry (he agreed they were friends) and then dug into my past before we married. Realized I had more experience than him and I became tainted goods. He thinks the man should be more experienced than the woman. In anger I offered a hall pass. "Go sleep with 3 women so you can beat me". Anyway we were never the same after this which is why I'm not surprised there is OW. He longed to have the teenage experience and now he's having it.
Meanwhile, before I knew about the OW, I panicked. He'd just left, I can't be alone, and my instinct to jump into another R was strong. Ended up meeting a man online and soon the sexting started. He wanted to come visit but I said no and the OM dumped me. Long story short I decided to once and for all fix my men addiction so I went cold turkey. Took 3 months until the urge passed (it was hard).
I've been 100% man free for 5 months now which is the longest I've gone since I was 15 years old. Yes this was a real problem. I wanted to sign up on a dating site to feel hopeful about my future. I don't have a desire for a R or male attention right now but I'm thinking it's probably not a good idea to risk it.
