The contact is hard, the situation we just went through with kids was a nesscessity.
We stuck together on the important things, ie: kids wellbeing but being around each other pretty much 24/7 for a week was emotionally difficult for both of us, and made db'ing tough.
Too many opportunities to talk about the r, our childhood situations, our mental health. All been too much and at the same time I love her being close in my life.
Now this week with work Christmas rush, kids Christmas commitments, injured pet etc we are in the same boat.
She started yet another talk about an hour ago, about finding happiness and self love within, that it took her years for it to be not just words, and finally connect with herself,
That we couldn't keep looking at our childhoods as excuses. I validated but kept things very brief and said the solutions aren't in the past.
Or look for validation outside ourselves, she then said break ups are easier without kids involved, that usually somebody would just go and sleep with someone else, that's what you should do.
I kinda looked at her in her eyes She then backchecked and said but that wouldn't be healing , it would just be a distraction.
Me: I agree
She went on to say she can't help me, that she only has enough for her and the kids. I'm just listening at this point.
Then she raises that since the incident with d6 and the realization that she hasn't finished working on her childhood trauma she has changed track on where she was with everything compared to where she was while we were fighting about parenting plan etc Just over a week ago
I closed off the conversation pleasantly enough and we got back to work.
I'm taking her words as meaning she is hopefuly refocused on the kids and her healing compared to partying and finding someone else. But who knows what's going on in her head.
Will listen and validate when I have to,
Maintain as much of a Pma as possible until Christmas is over, then takes things day at a time with more focus on myself
