Thanks all, to be clear i have only written one letter - which was based on the back of my learning in IC. It wasn't pleading, begging or anything designed to manipulate. Just understanding.
I've read and re-read a lot of the links provided above, and in the most part i'm detaching for instance i've stopped romanticising the past. It will always be true to me, and if she is honest true to her. But right now, she has re-written the past to suit her current narrative. Thats what i remind myself of. So i have to do the same, take the present as my guiding light, and adopt techniques that put my life and at the forefront. I know what i have to do, what i need to do.
Its hard though you know - the never ending processing, optimistic upswings , the tempering downswings and trying to apply an equilibrium to it all!
For instance the last few days we have spent time together as a family, talking and playing, indulging in fun. The kids love it, and to me it serves as a reminder that they are the most important thing. And off the back of this, has created a renewed outlet of us all being together at the same time. It has nurtured renewed conversations between my WAS and I, that creates optimism for me. And we have had a few laughs - something we used to do all the time. Positives breed positives right? Then i have to remind myself not to read too much into it - that i need to maintain a level approach, dampen my optimism. I know i have to because i'm teaching my self to detach.
Regarding Mediation, i'm clued up on it, i know my rights and have already prepared an outline of how I wish to proceed should we go down that path. I have requested that we postpone until New year, as the costs are prohibitive at this time of year, and feel it will pre-occupy us in a period when the Children should be and are enjoying the seasonal festivities.
