You: I understand you want a D. I want to work on the MR. But it takes two to stay married, and only one to D. I will not stand in your way.
Her: Blah blah blah.
If you have a boundary to assert, state it. Read up on boundaries if you intend to do this.
Otherwise you validate the h3ll out of her and clam up your feelings. If you can't handle things, you politely leave. I strongly advise you try to hang in there and stay as neutral as you can, within your limits.
She does not want to hear your feelings. She will recoil. Any feeling you share will be invalidated, unless it is a feeling that furthers her goal. (For instance, if you say, "I'm committed to being positive whatever happens" she will think "Great! Now I feel less guilty!") So you share nothing, until she commits to working on the MR. Leave her to deal with her own feelings.
If it helps, think of validation and active listening at this time like holding up a mirror to deflect all the cosmic death rays pointed at you.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
