Hi Kas - I too have been following you on and off too. I want you to think of something when you don't think you will find anyone. At least half of all marriages fail. HALF! Next time you go out, divide the room in half. All the people one one side are statistically going to end up available and looking.
I've followed your story here and there I just don't respond because I am in no position to give anyone advice. I'm surrounded by people who have been married for 10-20 years but my demographic is small.
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My ex found someone else too before we were separated and the best way I can describe how I felt was: betrayed. Ripped off, gyped, destroyed, but in the end, I felt betrayed. Sounds like you and I both didn't sign up for what we were given in the end. Understand too that a new relationship built on deceit and lies is nothing more than a farce. Our former SO's might have somebody now, but they will always wake up wondering if the person they are waking up to will eventually cheat again.
Yes this is exactly how I feel. My H would say he didn't meet the OW until after he moved out (its possible I guess) and that he's just keeping her away from the kids until it's serious. Lots of people date while separated so he's doing nothing wrong in fact he's a great father by not introducing her to the kids until its serious.
