Logging on to dating sites at this time is not the way to go.
Like an alcoholic I was just going to have a sip. Wasn't going to put a profile up I just wanted to snoop. I'm not going to do it because no good will come of it. If there are nice looking men I'll be tempted. If there aren't I'll be depressed.
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Try to remember that happiness comes from within and another person cannot make you happy. Sure, you might think another person will make you happy, but at the end of the day, you have to dig deep within your soul and find that Kas who was happy and self confident before you met your spouse.
Logically I know another person can't make me happy......but I don't want to be alone. I can't even fathom a world where I can be happy without a man in my life. I think how is that even possible? Everyone I work with has someone to go home to.
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Do not lower yourself to your spouse's level. If he thinks you are dating, then he's going to think you have finally accepted what he is doing and are okay w/it. You are not. You are trying to honor the love and honor that you had when you two were a couple.
I don't care what he thinks but I do care what my kids think. They have lost respect for him for dating while we are still married. They asked me directly if I had someone and I said no. D14 asked him if he was going to date before she moved in with him. He said no. Unlike him I won't lie to our kids.
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Now about the groceries, check into food stamps.
My income puts me close to poverty level but not low enough for me to qualify for food stamps (I checked). I got close though.
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Kas, breathe and dig deeper for patience. You are not going to recover in a day, a week or even a month. It is going to take time to grieve and trust me, the steps for grieving are not linear. Some days you will be angry as h3ll, other days, you will cry...but I promise you, as you work through the grieving process, you will become a stronger person.
Your post makes me cry. I've cried a lot since I had to move because it was in that moment when I knew my M was over. I had hope before then. The nails that finished it off were the OW, him deliberately paying me as little as possible and lying about the promotion. I am jealous of the OW but the rest will be righted in court.
