First, you need to keep the focus on you and your children.
Focusing on her, her behavior and trying to figure out what she will or will not do or say now or in the future is going to try you crazy. Each person in crisis will have similar behavior, but you need to remember that each person is unique in their childhood years, personality traits, and of course, what little coping skills that they have. That means, no one can actually predict exactly what your wife will do.
If your wife is doesn't look well, chances are she is burning the candle at both ends or hasn't been sleeping well. Many of them can't sleep at night because that is when the world is quiet and the little elves in their heads are playing reruns of about what they are doing and making her feel guilty and ashamed of the way she is treating you and her family. Also, she may be ill. Many of them tend to be ill quite often during most of the crisis.
She may begin to dress differently, opt to eat different food, play different music, get tattoos, body piercings, change up her appearance completely. She may even begin to talk the latest way that teenagers do. The phone will become a permanent appendage and she may be on it a lot.
She may go completely radio silent on you for a while. If she does, don't worry...she will be back around to touch base w/you when you least expect it. As for her contacting you via text and/or email, don't be too quick to respond back. Give it a couple of hours or the next day if it's not an emergency. If she should ask why you didn't respond back asap, you can simply state that you've been busy. I would suggest that you do not contact her unless it is an emergency or something child related.
You want her to miss you and she can't do that if you are contacting her. Give her plenty of space and time to truly miss you and the family.
As for you, keep that focus on you and your children. Dig deeper for patience and find plenty of GAL activities to help keep your mind focused elsewhere.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
