Logging on to dating sites at this time is not the way to go. You have to deal w/the fallout of what is going on in your situation as well as healing yourself. Look at it another way, if you are logging on to dating sites and communicating/chatting w/men from those sites, you are using them as band aids to patch up your broken heart and self esteem. Until you have healed your situation has been settled and put to rest, you do not want to bring a third party into the mix because at some point, someone is going to get hurt.
Try to remember that happiness comes from within and another person cannot make you happy. Sure, you might think another person will make you happy, but at the end of the day, you have to dig deep within your soul and find that Kas who was happy and self confident before you met your spouse.
Do not lower yourself to your spouse's level. If he thinks you are dating, then he's going to think you have finally accepted what he is doing and are okay w/it. You are not. You are trying to honor the love and honor that you had when you two were a couple.
Now about the groceries, check into food stamps. There is no shame in getting some government assistance until things are resolved. Ask questions of your local government and see what you can be entitled to and use those services. There is no shame in asking and using the various systems that are available for all to use when they fall onto hard times.
Kas, breathe and dig deeper for patience. You are not going to recover in a day, a week or even a month. It is going to take time to grieve and trust me, the steps for grieving are not linear. Some days you will be angry as h3ll, other days, you will cry...but I promise you, as you work through the grieving process, you will become a stronger person.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
