Mind blown Steve. I just finished that book and still didn't recognize that was NGS.
Venting session again - statistically I shouldn't be divorcing. Our ages, kids ages, religion, racial make up, years living together before marriage, years waiting to have kids. All these things combined give us a very low D rate but here we are. I know the stats mean nothing but I won the opposite of a lottery here.
Advice - What do I do with my wedding ring? If I take it off, others would notice and ask, yet if I were it, does it show pursuing? How long do most of you stay in limbo? I have a feeling we will agree on something such as waiting until D4 starts preschool or until W gets a job and kids are in daycare.
Core ~
I get a vibe from your posts that your brain is ping-ponging around at warp speed. Maybe it's because I identify with the combo of anxiety and NGS. I tried really hard early in my sitch to find solutions, to solve all my problems all at once, etc. Try to slow things down. In these early stages when things can feel completely overwhelming, often the best thing is to DO NOTHING. I've heard of the technique of picturing a big red STOP sign in your head when you feel like doing something. It can be really hard to fight that tendency to act. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Several folks have already pointed out to you the illusion of action. Slow it down.
Do you need to decide today what to do with the ring? Do you need to decide today how long to stay in limbo? Or should you instead focus on GAL, PMA, 180s, learning how to validate, detachment, and working on NGS. It's entirely up to you.
