I'm sorry you are going through this. You're doing your part to fix the sitch and keep the family together. That is noble and I'm sure however things go, it'll help you knowing you gave it your all. I'm in a similar sitch just with younger kids. Likely starting mediation soon, W telling me we are roomates for an unknown amount of time and sleeping in separate rooms. Just want to say you're not alone in this. The people here on the forum are looking out for you, hoping for the best.
I hear you on not wanting to go to mediation, I resisted myself, asking W for more time. In the end, if your W wants it, a D will happen one way or another. Mediation and working together amicably is likely to leave you with more of a chance to reconcile than fighting via lawyers. Saves money as well.
I consulted an attorney and my personal counselor and the only warning they have with mediation is that the H can lose out because of biases or state laws but also because a H may not stand up for himself, thinking he is doing the right thing giving W full custody, the house, car, etc. If YOU don't like how mediation goes, reassess and consult an attorney if need be. Many have an initial consultation for free. Just don't give up everything you love to make her happy. Just because you are going to mediation does not mean you agree with it or support the divorce. She knows where you stand. The challenge and where I'm hoping for you, is for her feelings to change and for you to become a better you.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
