The daily test of emotional fortitude

[Core]

U,
My heart goes out to you. I'd give you a bro hug if I could. The labels she's giving you are hurtful, and I'm sure completely untrue. You know these boards well and I'm sure you recall, "believe half of what they say". No person willing to fight that hard for their family is any of those things. Not you, not most of us on these boards. We've all wronged, and everyone has by definition abused their S in one way or another but thats why we forgive. Technically I've been physically, verbally, emotionally abused by my S at one point but its all minor stuff up until the flame coming out after BD. With NGS, you probably weren't as stable as you are now, I imagine you were still easy to be around and were worth fighting for. Worth forgiving rather than resenting. What she is doing with the mixed messages is confusing and is a form of abuse. I can see why you would find R a challenge. Our S's have a lot to condone for.

I too hate that your kids have to experience their parents D. Three kids under 7 is not easy. Guiding them through life and through this is something I can tell you will do successfully based on your posts here and the efforts you've made.

Glad to hear you are happier than ever before in your adult life! You make a good point about your W perhaps feeling guilty and trying to get you on board with the D. I bet in one form or another, that's true. I think thats why WW/WAS label us, push us, hurt us, rewrite the past. Breaking up a family, they need to convince themselves they are doing the right thing and they want more ammo from you to validate their decision. You being an even better person than before BD makes it harder for her. She can keep those feelings to herself, dont let NGS absorb them. You fought for marriage in its darkest hour, for her, for you and for your kids. You are a devoted and honorable husband and father.