Gerda Finally Sees the Broken Fragments

[Rita]

If you let go of your attachments to keeping these properties and can make him believe that, he may be more concerned heading into a trial where he could do significantly worse.

5. Would backing out on the property involve changing the custody/support/visitation issues with the children, and how would you feel about it if it did?

Think carefully and unemotionally before you make this decision. Don't do it rashly, and be prepared for both the possibility of better and worse outcomes and how you feel about them, as well as how you think you would handle the stress of having this still over your head.

Also, Own -- Do you think he could do significantly worse or you just mean that that is the risk for all of us at trial? I am not sure he will realize that potential either way as he is extremely delusional. But I wondered what you meant.

There will be no change in custody. He settled that last year, I insisted on settling it before I would discuss anything else. He caved almost instantly. He doesn't care about the kids, I think he just uses D10 to get at me honestly. But maybe he does care about her somewhere in his now-dark heart. Hasn't seen S14 since May.

About the stress -- what I realized is that the stress IS hanging over my head. I agreed to allow H to play the market with my house while I live in it, with his own broker and me not allowed to have any say in any of it, until June. Talk about stressful! So I realized that it would be in a way less stressful to have a trial where at least I didn't feel like a bug pinned to a piece of cardboard. I mean, I do not want a trial, I signed to avoid it. I am just not sure that what I took is any better and might be worse.

But as you say, I need to think long and hard. I might be better off just holding my breath for six months and putting my hands over my ears to say LALALALALALLAALALA while H dances around me with his for sale sign and buyers tromping under the leaking roof and crumbling walls.