I know calling you pathetic is cruel. I write that because I know from experience that it feels pathetic to remain so attached to someone that is walking all over you. It degrades your last shred of self worth. What I am trying to get you to understand is that this is not her doing. It is yours. People only treat us the way we allow them to. And this most likely started before her A began.

It doesn't matter what her reasons are, if she is kind to you, or if she talks about the future as if you two are together. None of that matters. You, like all of us, are just looking for hope. Because you don't want to let go. You can only accept the facts and that is that you are not together and she is with someone else. That is it. You have got to decide that any crumbs or table scraps that she throws you is not good enough. You want a committed W that respects you and treats you as such and that is it.

I think that is great that you have a good IC in the near future. But please do not fool yourself into thinking that letting go of your W will be any easier with IC than it is now. Please do not put this off any longer. With every passing day that you hope for her return, look for signs and accept her stringing you along, you erode your sense of self more and more. You are withering away right now. You don't have to live this way. You can choose right now in this moment that you are worth more than being crapped on, lied too, and saved as a plan B. She might say or act as if she loves you, but really, she is playing you. You are the fool in this by accepting it, not her.

You don't have to make this into some drama and make a grand proclamation. In fact it is better if you don't and do so with actions. You can gently tell her that you have been doing a lot of thinking and you need to make some changes in your life and to please give you some space. Then you focus 100% on you. SHUT HER OUT, BECAUSE SHE IS TOXIC FOR YOU. This is not a game and not to win her back. What are you waiting for?

Then you GAL GAL GAL. SELF CARE and surround yourself with positive people that support you. It really is the only way to learn to value you yourself again. Then, and only over time, you will attract people that value you the same way. That may or may not be her. By then, it won't matter anymore.

Post here your personal successes every day. Let us help celebrate you. This is not about her anymore.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela