I would like to challenge all of you on your thinking and say that none of it matters. You are all doing this because the more you can come to understand your WS/WAS, the more sympathy you have for them and therefore the more you can allow their mistreatment of you in the guise that they are somehow still connected. to you. I am sorry but this doesn't work.
Now, work on removing mind-reading her from your life. Carve out that headspace for YOU and what you want. You will feel a whole lot better when you aren't wasting precious emotional energy trying to figure her out, and instead focus that energy on you. It may feel like a huge burden is lifted (or at least you can throw out the barf bags!)
