Gerda, I'd love to be able to tell you what I think you want to hear, but it isn't in me to do that. You asked, so I'm going to respond.
1. Do not back out of the deal unless you find an attorney you like and respect who tells you that you would be better off backing out of the deal. None of us knows the deal, the risks, the likelihoods, the law where you are, etc. This is absolutely worth a consultation fee.
2. Try to lose your attachment to particular outcomes. It is that attachment that gives him leverage. You make it very easy for him to see what he has to do to get what he wants. Children remember events and time, not things. Your children will do fine whether they have a vacation home or whatever. This is a crap deal for all of you, but it will be over and then you can rebuild. You got here on your effort, and you can go further without a dead weight in the future.
3. Don't bluff. Not ever. If you back out and can't afford an attorney for trial, make sure you are comfortable with representing your case and your positions. I'm not saying I don't think you couldn't handle it, I'm just saying make sure you accept that is the likely scenario.
4. If you let go of your attachments to keeping these properties and can make him believe that, he may be more concerned heading into a trial where he could do significantly worse.
5. Would backing out on the property involve changing the custody/support/visitation issues with the children, and how would you feel about it if it did?
6. Are you positive you would have a different judge, or are you just betting that based on rotation and probability? Are you positive you wouldn't get a worse one?
Think carefully and unemotionally before you make this decision. Don't do it rashly, and be prepared for both the possibility of better and worse outcomes and how you feel about them, as well as how you think you would handle the stress of having this still over your head.
