AS, U, I wonder if I'm subconsciously self sabotaging here and or I dont 100% trust the method. All I know is 2 weeks of breaking all thr rules and 4-6 weeks of following both neither have produced any result.
4-6 weeks is an eye blink.
MWD talks in DR about trying little experiments with your spouse and gauging the results, over a period of a few weeks. This is what you are doing. One big difference between her book and this board is most of us are in much more dire circumstances. So we tend to advise detaching, and not looking so much at our WAS for feedback, because the relationship is already broken in many ways.
Originally Posted by Core
I want happiness, I dont want to become a massively different person to win this woman back and have the pressure of maintaining that new self my whole life.
This is great insight into DB!
Now, how are you going to find happiness? It sounds like you recognize the perils of using your MR status or your W's approval as a measuring stick of your happiness. You don't want that.
DB is all about becoming happy and healthy and whole. Tangentially, it just may save your MR. Or not.
