Hey all, it has been a while. I still lurk these forums from time to time, but I rarely post. People come and go, new faces, new stories, but in the end its all still a similar problem with no easy answers. We talk about how the walkaway/wayward spouse has blinders on. How could they do this, why would they do this, why didn't I do things differently, etc.
However, us LBS definitely have our own blinders on as well. I knew I had those blinders on during the process, but it took some time for them to really come off. It took some time for me to realize who she became and was different than who I thought she was. I thought she was the person I was married to in the first 2 to 3 years of our marriage. Despite that especially in the last 3 years of our marriage she had changed and I couldn't see it. Now that we have been D those attitudes and behaviors she has have only been exacerbated, and have become even more unattractive. I still think about things and surprise myself from time to time, and wonder why I accepted and tolerated certain actions and behaviors. It is not who I am or whom I ever was. I think from my perspective it was to carry that cross and just to make it work without really tackling the real problems head on. Towards the end years of the marriage as much as I do not like who she became, I do not like part of who I was in response to her. Do I wish I still had my M? Yes of course, but only in the fantasy of what I thought it was, not the reality. I look back at what we had and I look now, and it saddens me, especially for my children. I shake my head and think what a d@mn shame. However, these are the scars I carry and who I am is much better than a fantasy.
The co-parenting with the exW has been an interesting ride....Anyone who is co-parenting just put your kids first and don't back down to the exS demands at the determent of your children.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
