22 Years Gone Part 2

[rooskers]

More adventures in D13 and her visitations with her mother. D13 got back from her visitation with her mom and was extremely frustrated. She has asked her mom to stop giving her presents and her mom has agreed but as soon as she gets to her mom's house there are presents waiting for her on the bed. She has told her mom Christmas is really difficult and that she was hoping to keep it very low key. When she got to her mom's house there was a big Christmas tree with all the decorations waiting to be put on, house decorations waiting to be hung, Christmas music playing, and cookies ready to be made. Normally I would be all for this but D13 had asked her specifically not to do this because of the hurt it was causing her. Her mom would have none of it, even though D13 was crying, continued on with what she was doing like nothing was wrong and hounded D13 until she helped. She also asked D13 if she could ask me to switch days so I could have D13 Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and she would take a different day earlier in the week. Her mom said this was because she wanted to make sure we have plenty of time to drive to Disneyland. We aren't leaving on Christmas Eve and D13 told her that but her mom said well you can get plenty of rest and I wanted to help you out. D13 found out the real reason is because her mom has a party to go to Christmas Eve and doesn't want to miss it. At the end her mom asked or told her "I did much better this visitation respecting your boundaries didn't I." D13 just shrugged her shoulders at her and when she got home cried for a good hour telling me all these details.

On a positive note after much consideration for the past three months, my friends convincing arguments, and D13's pleading looks, we have decided to get a dog. D13 said the dog should be more loyal and trustworthy than the one who walked out on us. I tried my best not to laugh. My car is also fixed and am crossing my fingers there are no more problems in that realm.

I am still working on myself and trying to detach from a fictional person I was together with for 22 years. Reflecting back I am starting to feel that my XW had multiple affairs on me for many years. I will never know the truth but the signs are all the same each time. We are divorced now but I guess it helps with the letting go part to accept she wasn't the person I put on a pedestal.