I hadn't considered that about the house being a way of hanging on to W.
The plan then I suppose is to -Continue doing what I'm doing -Be happy and stay happy -Don't take the bait and respond to somewhat loaded comments from W if they come -Enjoy my improvements and reap the reward I'm getting for my own benefit -Don't expect W to find out about all my changes etc. - she may get to hear about it secondhand eventually, e.g. from mutual friends, but I will absolutely not go out of my way at all to tell her
I may have doubts about myself (i.e. how I'd react) for those times she will 'come closer' to the picnic in the future. I will of course come here for advice before I do anything stupid or otherwise!!
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020