She wakes me up later and is upset that I called her a liar and a cheater to my mother. She had went into my phone and read my text messages. She claimed she wanted to see what I was thinking.
Well to be honest I think it's good that she saw that. It sends her a clear message that you are not giving her a free pass on her crappy behavior. Incidentally, I imagine what she was REALLY looking for was to see if you were having an affair. She probably thinks THAT is why you've suddenly changed your attitude about her. So now she knows A) you're not putting her on a pedestal and B) this really is about her actions and not about a secret affair you're having.
Quote
She later text me about going to counseling. My response was that she only needed to contact me regarding my kids.
Perfect.
Quote
Counseling for her would be to end our marriage and for me to have some kind of closure. She thinks counseling will justify us getting a divorce and not being together.
Not sure about that, she may feel you slipping away as Plan B and she might see MC as a way of keeping you on the hook. She'll be dangling carrots in front of you (waking up to her hugging you is a great example) to try and get you back on the hook.
Quote
We argued somewhat and I said some mean things to her in front of our son. She walked out and went home. She feels like I’ve turned my son against her and made a valid point about mentioning her cheating in front of him. I know I shouldn’t have done that but he already knows.
Ugh. You've got to try and reign your temper in, I know your situation has got to be extremely frustrating but you've got to be the moral compass for S because your W sure isn't.
Quote
She is adamant about seeing a counselor and wants our son to see one as well. I still think she wants us to see a counselor so that we can have a smooth divorce. She claims it would be to work on our relationship regardless of what happens in our marriage.
I stuck to my guns and said we can’t have a relationship as long as there is a 3rd person involved.
Quote
I told her I didn’t need to see a counselor until she was sure she knew for sure she wanted to be married and was not in contact with the OM.
Don't offer any contingencies, it sounds like you're trying to negotiate. Your response before was perfect- "she only needed to contact me regarding my kids".
