Relayed that she had had a good night, that some friends had said some good things about me. Didn't pry further.
She then drifted into a relationship talk, that she hadn't felt scared coming home with me there, she expanded to say scared of getting in trouble if I was at home.
She went on to say how much better things were now that we were not together but friends, I listened She went on about how frustrating it was to try and talk to me during the r and how I responded. I validated and made her aware that when she was trying to talk to me I reacted as if she was attacking or criticising me.that this must have been really frustrating for her.
She went on to talk about how we had not had a deep connection, that we hadn't trusted each other intimately. I kinda froze here, I know a tear came to my eye.
She went on to say I needed to forgive myself, that she forgave me but couldn't go back. I responded I didn't want to go back either, only forward
She went on about how she knew I was working through coming out of depression and needed to start loving myself. She didn't want to have power over me she knew I regretted my mistakes and that I was human.
She knew that we had loved each other but that I had to let go to heal.
This all completely knocked the wind out of my sails, she knows me inside out.
Afterwards we took the kids for a walk in the woods, had a Sunday pub lunch and she states how this has been the best day she has had in ages.
She told the kids we would be spending Christmas all together,
Flummoxed and spiralling, had to bite my tongue hard many times today not to declare my love. She knows and she could see I was subdued throughout the day.
Spending the night in family home again, she then wants to re-establish boundaries and return to "normal" tomorrow What do i do with all of this?
