Friends: Season 3--Expanding and thriving

[TripleJ]

Okay, time to give my two and a half cents in this thing.

Being a person who has experienced his W go through 3 OMs and now is involved in a fourth (yes, I said four!) and having to meet and shake hands with two of them, during 10 months of sep, I feel compelled to get involved in this discussion.

I have thought alot about my sitch in this regard, I was VERY, VERY angry at the OM for this, but there were two important things that I realized that have helped me.

1. My W is not a piece of property.
Just because I have a piece of paper stating that we are bound by the laws of my state that we are married, I DO NOT own her. I did not pay money for her. She is a human being and is free to choose and do whatever she wants to do. She has a mind, a soul.

To say that someone has stolen her from me is a falsehood, i believe. Just like I chose to leave the house, she chose not to let me back. She chose not to love me the same as when we were first married, and she chose to live the life that she is living now. I don't agree with it. I hate it. But it is her choice. It is her life. and she chooses me not to be in it the way I want to be.

2. These OMs do not have the same values that I have.
I think it is pretty crappy what these OMs are involved in. And it especially hurts that my kids are also involved in this turmoil. But is it anyone's fault? Is it my W's fault? Is it OMs? or is it mine? or is it anyone's?

I live by different principles than others. I suspect that these OMs do not know what they are actually getting into, nor do they care. I mean, what do most men use to think with anyway?

Yes, it hurts to see an OM with my W. But its the life my W is choosing, and she is has her own free will. And I can I really fault the OMs for being dumb enough to be trapped in my W's web? I think the answer for me is no.

I am more angry about me being away from my W than someone else being with her. And that my friends, was my choosing.

Triple J