Dude and dudettes, I'm being killed here. Do you have any more advice on the above or the following? Here's whats murdering me today. My parents went through a similar situation albeit when I was older. I couldnt forgive my parent who strayed. My W knows about this and said she'd never do the same. I've suffered massive loss in my family, basically just had two close relative left by the age 23. My best friend died in our teens. I just started therapy for ptsd and anxiety for these issues when W dropped the bomb.
Core ~
I defer to vets like R2C on gaining back respect on how to handle the MBR situation.
I understand how hard this is. Many of us here have a history of family difficulties. I also have anxiety. I am estranged from my parents currently. I feel abandoned by some of the closest people in my life too. I lack trust. This stuff is brutally hard. Keep working at it and things will get better.
Originally Posted by Core
I am trapped! ... I feel forced to sit here and become my Ws friend for the kids. All knowing she is going to abandon the marriage at anytime. Whenever her agenda is complete. I've got no power here and none I can take back at least I feel that way. Im struggling mentally knowing I lost my W, my dreams and most of what made me happy. ...This is a living h3ll or at least purgatory.
What do you do after the kids go to sleep? GAL can be as simple as reading a book by yourself or exploring a new hobby at home.
You are in control of your own happiness. Nobody else.
Limbo is really hard. The anxiety kicks in and you just want to do something, anything to *resolve* the situation. It's easy to get stuck in logistical/rational thought and start spinning.
If you feel the anxiety spinning you up, keep posting here. The best thing I have found (for me at least) is to recognize my anxiety is high, and just tell myself to do NOTHING. Eventually the anxiety subsides a bit and I can think more clearly. I don't trust my brain in a heightened state.
I don't know what to tell you about the specifics of your kids and childcare, etc. One thing common to most limbo situations is that the problem will be here tomorrow also. And the next day. And the day after that. So you may as well work on yourself. It's hard to get started. You will get the hang of it. It might not be enjoyable all the time, but the work is worth it. I thought my life was over 6 months ago. I still wish my MR was recoverable. But dammit I am going to be happy no matter what happens.
