Ginger I will absolutely get the right of first refusal in our official agreement. From what I know, there's typically some time period specified (like, if you need a sitter for more than X hours, the other parent gets the right).
MLC you are right we have no legal agreement. For the last 3 months, we have agreed to create separate "personal spending" accounts which we fund each month. Each of us can spend that money as we please, and we have a set amount of money each month for it.
It's a messy arrangement because it is not clearly spelled out what is personal. If she takes a trip to see her family, should the gas money come out of her personal account? If I buy myself a candy bar at the gas station, should that be personal spending? It gets ridiculous quickly.
I think I should wait for the house discussion before addressing any of these concerns. We do need to figure out this house issue. The mortgage alone is larger than the max child+spousal support payment I would have to pay.
So the fact I am paying the mortgage plus her other living expenses, etc.... well had we been working on the MR I would have considered it worthwhile. Six months separated, and no movement... I need to protect myself and unfortunately start pushing things forward. She has a huge emotional attachment to the house, so I am expecting some drama.
IW good points. Isn't it crazy how sometimes we feel like we have to "let go" of so many things, and the WAS can do as they please? I know my W is also struggling, and I'm sure she feels like she is sacrificing too. With NGS it's hard to tell if I am letting go because it is prudent, or because I am trying not to rock the boat.
