Others may say not to even consider what I am about to share w/you, but it may help you decide how to negotiate a deal concerning your dog.
Here is what I ended up doing at the last minute w/my xh. Before my hearing back in 2002, we all sat in the same location, so I took a gamble and told my STBX that I wanted $10,000 from his IRA account and that the money could be applied against what I would end up using towards purchasing the home out from under him. I told him that I had enough evidence on him to rock his world and wouldn't hesitate to tell the judge the real reason for the divorce, i.e., adultery and I would not hesitate to name the affair partner. He didn't blink an eye....I got exactly what I wanted because he didn't want his "soul mate's" name and his dirty laundry to come to light.
My lawyer wasn't aware until the last minute that I was going to lay down all of my cards. He kept saying that he wouldn't go for it, but I thought, nothing ventured, nothing gained. It was a gamble, but he was so desperate, I think he would have given me more if I had requested it, but I didn't want to push too hard. Sometimes, when dealing w/STBXs, we have to go the extra mile to get to the other side of a divorce/custody issues.
You may have to pull that final ace out of your deck and advise him that you will expose the abortion and his dirty laundry if he's not willing to give you full custody of the dog. He's been jerking you around for many, many months about your fur baby. He is just being a pain in the @ss and is enjoying keeping the dog away from you. He wants you to beg and plead because it is control and manipulation on his part. He knows that you've been trying to keep the peace, but when divorce and custody issues are on the table, there are times when you need to listen to your head and not your heart. This is a business deal that has soured and if you want your dog, then you are going to have to pull that ace and play it to the fullest. Trust me, if this were the other way around, your h would be playing his entire hand against you and he wouldn't give a fig about it.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
