First off, congrats on the extra time with the kids! I know you've been struggling with that for months - take a moment and celebrate that
I would suggest trying to prioritize things - a sort of triage if you will. FYI - in my sit, separating individual bills versus joint bills freaked my W out. I think it was a rude awakening. She did get very angry but I kept even and neutral during the conversation. It became too real for her - things had been the same for 15 years and she woke up to the fact that she was spending much more than I was.
If you're seeing movement on the house, and you need to solve that issue first, I'd let the babysitter issue go. For now. Either that or group it together as part of a generic "personal expenses" vs "joint expenses" topic. I wouldn't specifically itemize things - that could trigger an argument or potentially be seen as "controlling".
