Friends: Season 3--Expanding and thriving

[sage]

KK --

Thank you so much for the honest and forthright post. It's so important for me to remember the pain and fear and longing of the other side...particularly when I get stuck in my own pain and fear and longing

As for my own sitch...ow was in our social circle and made overt efforts to BECOME my friend, to BECOME closer to me the whole time she was involved with my h. It would have been easy for me (and at times it felt OH SO SATISFYING) to have blown up her whole world after finding out...but I didn't. Nothing particularly noble about that and I don't feel particularly smug about it either...it was partly selfish (the whole karma thing), partly out of consideration to my h, and partly a by-product of a lot of work I've tried to do on developing compassion and forgiveness. In some ways, ow has become my "lesson" -- I could see and appreciate the work and effort and all that h put in for us to recover ...I still battle feelings at times that ow got away scott free but I'm sure that's not true, either.

Sage