For what it's worth, I got the accusations of "emotional abuse" and so on, too. Pretty soon she'll tell you that you are a narcissist who only cares about yourself. As others have suggested, IC is good, will help to keep you level. Feedback is a gift that you should always accept with grace... and sometimes drop in the garbage can. We all make mistakes, have our low moments where we say things we regret. It's just an excuse for her to justify her behavior.
Thank you. I think that's one thing that has propelled me into my current mindset of no longer wanting anything to do with her. If she only knew how much pain, self-blame, and suicidal thoughts she put me through in the weeks after she dropped the bomb.
I won't deny that there weren't instances that could be labeled as verbal or emotional abuse in our relationship, but none of that has warranted the way she chose to handle the end of this marriage and the emotional abuse she put me through with this new gentleman in her life. The final straw for me was when I found out from the OM's ex-GF that there were multiple instances of him pinning her in the corner screaming at her and her advising me I should do everything in my power to prevent my S4 from staying over there. I informed W's mother of this, and within 10 minutes I had a long text from OM telling me to quit texting W's mother and he began on the accusations of me being manipulative, emotionally abusive, and verbally abusive to my wife.
Keep in mind this OM is the same man that doesn't allow any of his girlfriends to have any social media, he checks their phone calls, text messages, doesn't allow them to go on trips without him, all while he cheated on his last GF of 2 years with 3 other women. Yet I allowed my W to do anything she wanted. Never checked her phone, allowed her to go on any girl's trip she wanted, never cheated on her. Just a few instances of me being frustrated and yelling at her and calling her names I shouldn't have.. And I will forever regret it. All I can do is learn from it and move on.
After hearing the words "he's just a friend" one too many times all while knowing she is staying over there every night she doesn't have our S4 and half the time she does have our S4, and still being told how terrible I am on a consistent basis if I made the mistake of trying to reach out to her, I've just decided to never allow her back into my home as a spouse. I know I have a ton of work to do on myself and she does too. But unfortunately she hasn't even found the shovel yet to begin digging into her own issues.
