Divorce/WAW due to my infidelity Part 4

[crdcheck]

Quick recap - STBXW responded by saying that she is concerned for D4 and that I'm not following the divorce agreement (accusatory). I sent a note back saying that D4 is my top priority, that I appreciate her sharing her views with me, but that I'm not seeing the symptoms and I'm in alignment with the agreement. If she wants to talk more I offered to meet in person today (Friday). So...

STBXW and I met this afternoon to talk about the emails, etc. Good conversation overall. We started by talking about some scheduling items. I'm going on vacation in January and, with holidays, it would result in me barely seeing D4 at all during the month. Our custody arrangement allows that and it's my choice to go on vacation so I told her that I respect her decision either way, no hard feelings. She traded a weekend, definitely something "for" me and I really appreciate it.

Regarding the separation anxiety issues, she is saying that the issue exists and that it only manifests itself when D4 is with her. Single dads, what's your experience? D4 is happy when she's with me like 95% of the time. STBXW says that she is having headaches, issues sleeping, and so on, with her, because she's scared of STBXW not being around. I'm open to making changes that help D4 but it really feels like an issue between STBXW and D4 rather than me. STBXW wants to take D4 to counseling, perhaps have the two of us go, too. Seems like a waste to me - I am reading books, making sure that my time w/ D4 is quality time (no screens, etc.), and so on... not sure what I could possibly improve. I don't really want to spend my time and money on what seems like her issue.

She offered some bait by saying that she was giving me "grace" for some things I am doing as a dad that she doesn't agree with. I didn't ask what they were (had to bite my tongue, ha). I probably could have done more validation overall but overall it was a pleasant conversation. Went 45 minutes without me noticing. All business. She asked me about my work but I couldn't tell her anything even if I wanted to (my work is privileged - as a couple I could share more than I should but now? No way.). Didn't pry about hers, ask about anything personal, etc.

At this point it feels like a business relationship, nothing more. I don't know how I feel about that. Certainly not good but also not really bad. I don't feel like I have to resist the urge to talk about reconciliation in any form. I'm just being a dad. Well, if I'm honest, I'm also still a bit angry that I am put in the position where I have to justify my actions as D4's parent while STBXW walks out the door and can pretend she has her best interests at heart. I did have to resist defensiveness/justifications.