Exactly. If he’s like this now, hows he going to be when you encounter major challenges in life? When your child develops an eating disorder, or a drug addiction, or special needs of some kind, or you become sick? Stuff happens and if he couldn’t make it through a pregnancy he’s unlikely to be useful to you in future challenges.
Good spouses who have a temporary mental derangement are worth fighting for. But spouses with personality disorders, serious long-term character defects, or abusive behavior are not worth waiting for unless they’re seriously motivated to change.
I think you’re just beginning to realize how badly H was gaslighting you and how much was missing from your marriage.
